It’s meant to be the “most wonderful time of the year,” yet for many women, Christmas can feel anything but. Between the shopping lists, family plans, school events, and social gatherings, it’s easy to end up feeling stretched to breaking point.

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking “it’s all too much, and I have to do everything,” you’re not alone. Many of the women I work with describe feeling responsible for holding everything together - keeping everyone happy, keeping traditions alive, keeping the magic going. Somewhere along the way, the joy gets lost under the weight of it all. So, if you’re wondering how to handle stress at Christmas, let’s take a gentle look at why this time of year feels so heavy - and how to ease the pressure just a little

The Myth of the Perfect Christmas

Every year, we’re surrounded by images of smiling families, twinkling lights, and beautifully wrapped gifts. The message is subtle but powerful, if your home, family, or mood doesn’t look like that, you’re somehow doing Christmas wrong.

But perfection is exhausting - and impossible. The truth is there’s no “right” way to do the festive season. For many of us, Christmas brings complex emotions: grief, loneliness, or the weight of expectation. Trying to plaster joy over those feelings just adds to the strain.

What if this year, good enough was truly enough? A simple meal instead of a feast. A quiet day instead of a packed calendar. Permission to step back from the traditions that no longer feel nurturing.

Why It Feels Like You Have to Do Everything

Many women describe feeling like Christmas just “lands on them.” Even when partners or family members are willing to help, the mental load - remembering every detail, planning ahead, making sure no one feels left out - still tends to fall on one person’s shoulders.
You might notice that it’s not just about the tasks themselves, but about the invisible expectations:

• Keeping everyone happy
• Making memories for the children
• Avoiding family tension
• Making it all look effortless

That’s a huge emotional responsibility to carry. If you feel burnt out or resentful, it doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or failing - it simply means you’re human, and you’ve been doing too much for too long. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to delegate. and it’s more than okay to say “no” to things that drain you.

Small Ways to Ease the Pressure

If you’re already feeling overwhelmed, big lifestyle changes aren’t realistic - but small shifts can make a difference.

Here are a few gentle ideas:

1. Give yourself permission to simplify. Ask yourself what really matters this year. Which traditions still bring warmth, and which ones just add stress? You’re allowed to let go of the rest.

2. Set boundaries early. If you know certain gatherings or expectations leave you exhausted, consider limiting your time or creating clear plans ahead of time. Protect your energy where you can.

3. Ask for specific help. Instead of hoping others will notice you’re struggling, be clear. “Could you pick up the food shop this week?” or “Would you wrap the gifts while I rest?” Most people want to help - they just need guidance.

4. Make space for rest. It doesn’t have to be a full day off - even ten quiet minutes with a cup of tea can help you reconnect with yourself.

5. Remember: you don’t need to earn your rest.Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s what allows you to show up with genuine warmth for    others.

Finding Your Own Version of Calm

You don’t have to dread Christmas forever. It’s possible to create a version of the festive season that feels calmer, kinder, and more aligned with your needs - not everyone else’s. Therapy can be a supportive space to explore what makes this time of year difficult for you personally. Whether that’s family dynamics, perfectionism, or the feeling of carrying it all alone, you don’t have to keep pushing through by yourself.

You Deserve a Kinder Christmas

If you’re feeling the signs of burnout creeping in - the irritability, the exhaustion, the guilt for not feeling festive enough - please know you’re not the only one. So many people quietly feel the same way.

It’s okay to make things simpler this year. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to rest.

You deserve a Christmas that feels peaceful, not perfect.

Suzanne is a counsellor based near Hemel Hempstead and Berkhamsted, focusing on therapy for professional women navigating anxiety, low self-esteem, or overwhelm.