Anxiety can feel like being caught in a storm with no shelter. The world gets smaller, your chest tightens, your breathing speeds up, and you might find yourself panicking over things that once felt manageable. For many women I work with - and in my own life - anxiety isn’t just a passing feeling. It can feel like a constant weight, making even the simplest things feel overwhelming.
But what if anxiety isn’t a sign that something is wrong with you? What if it’s your nervous system doing its best to protect you?
Your Nervous System Isn’t Broken - It’s Trying to Help
Our bodies are built to keep us safe. When we feel threatened - whether it’s a real danger or just something our mind perceives as a threat - our nervous system kicks into gear. This is the “fight, flight, freeze or fawn” response. It’s automatic. You might notice your heart pounding, your breath becoming shallow, or a sudden urge to escape a situation.
This response is completely normal. The problem is when your nervous system gets stuck in that stress mode, even when the danger has passed. For women who’ve experienced trauma, chronic stress, or who are just carrying too much, this can become an everyday experience. It’s exhausting. But the good news is - it can change
Learning to Listen to Your Body
One of the biggest shifts for me was learning to actually listen to what my body was telling me. That tight chest? That lump in your throat? That racing mind? Those aren’t random symptoms - they’re signals. Your body is trying to communicate with you.
Instead of fighting those feelings or trying to push them away, we can learn to get curious. What’s my body asking for right now? What would help me feel a little safer, more grounded, more supported?
This is where self-regulation begins. It’s not about “fixing” yourself - it’s about understanding what your nervous system needs to feel calm again.
Finding What Works for You
There’s no one right way to regulate your nervous system. The key is finding what works for you - something that feels doable and genuinely calming. It might be grounding exercises, breathing techniques, gentle movement, or connecting with your senses.
Sometimes it’s as simple as placing a hand on your chest, noticing your feet on the ground, or focusing on your breath. Other times, it might mean stepping outside, listening to music, or holding something warm in your hands. Over time, you’ll build a little toolkit that helps you feel steadier when things start to spiral.
And that’s what I love helping women do - explore what brings a sense of calm, safety, and connection back into their bodies
Safety First - Always
Something that’s really important to me in the way I work is safety. We don’t dive into overwhelming emotions or re-live trauma. Instead, we move gently and at your pace. I always work in a trauma-informed way, which means we go slowly and make sure your body feels safe enough to do the work.
You won’t be pushed into panic - in fact, our work together is about helping you avoid that spiral and learn how to soothe your system in healthy, lasting ways.
Anxiety Doesn’t Have to Define Your Life
Anxiety is a natural part of being human - especially in a world that asks so much from women every day. But feeling overwhelmed and stuck doesn’t have to be your normal. With understanding, the right tools, and compassionate support, you can begin to take back control and find moments of peace.
You are not alone in this journey. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but step by step, you can learn not to being ruled by anxiety. You deserve to feel calm, connected, and free to be yourself.
Suzanne is a counsellor based near Hemel Hempstead and Berkhamsted, specialising in therapy for professional women navigating anxiety, low self-esteem, or overwhelm.